His Majesty The Worm - Pile of Blades Masterpost

Pile of Blades is a city and undercity I wrote for His Majesty The Worm. I played through it in seven sessions, about one for each realm of the Undercity.

 

His Majesty The Worm - Session 7

Four adventurers from the Elite Underman Excavation Company showed up for the final mission:

• Aethelbald the Green, Horse Girl (and Wall the Griffin)
• Hyacinth "Cindy" Hakkapeliitta, Mad Brewer (and her new husband Fovean Blaster Caster)
• Chrysanthemum "Chris" Hakkapeliitta, Ex-Legionary
• Gyrfalcon "Gary the Mage" Hakkapeliitta, Wizard

The Unicorn explained the mission at Aethelbald's ranch outside of town. With the psychic protection they got in the Demon Ruins they could now enter the Cave of Squids and eliminate the threat to the City. Jerry the Mage had used his alchemical expertise to make a big bomb, all the Guild had to do was take it into the dungeon and drop it in the room with the jars, and the thing inside the jars. They'd recognize it from their nightmares, and when the Unicorn said that they realized they would. The dream of an enormous body, trapped in a confined space, dimly aware of the innumerable dreaming minds in the world above.

 
An assault on the Cave of Squids would provoke an immediate response from the inhabitants, who would use their psychic powers to draw in all their servitors from the City and Undercity. To that end, a team would hold the entrance to the Cave and protect the Guild's line of retreat.

• The Unicorn
• Jerboa "Jerry the Mage" De Hornachos
• Jerboa's cousin Baramundi "Barry the Mage" De Hornachos
• Jerboa's uncle Scarab "Scary the Mage" De Hornachos

The Guild chose the Cave entrance in the cellars beneath Hangman's Hill, rather than the flooded drain from the Giant Conclave. Aethelbald hefted the bomb, Cindy took the sack of spare psychic resistance rings, and they descended into the final area of the dungeon.

Clerics in Begone, FOE!

A few days ago Prismatic Wasteland put out a call for posts about about Clerics. I'm going to talk about Clerics in my personal fantasy heartbreaker Begone, FOE! I've been workshopping alternate names like Loot Bastards or Slop and Splendor but nothing has emerged as a frontrunner. This post serves as an important reminder that I should get back to work on Revision 15. 

In the Hands of Osiris - Masterpost

Ferenc Eisenhut

 

An Unknown Armies 3e double feature set during Napoleon's invasion of Egypt.

 

In the Hands of Osiris - Music Post

Lecomte de Nouy

 

Mostly recycled from prior soundscapes, but I compiled it anyway. A friend said she liked the scenario and might run it someday.

 

His Majesty The Worm - Session 6

 
Gary and Cindy Hakkapeliitta met up at Aethelbald's ranch outside the city, to get their next mission from the Unicorn the Orc brought out of the underworld. The beast knew a lot about what was going on in the undercity, and explained the situation to the Guild: The destruction of the telepathic statue sabotaged the Squids' alliance with the Giants, who realized they'd been duped when the fog of mental interference suddenly lifted. But any attack on the squids themselves would require psychic defenses, and that's what the Guild was going to get. The Demon Ruins were full of evil spirits that would trade for what they needed. The Unicorn couldn't go with them because he hated Demons. They killed his rider and he would savagely attack them on sight with no thought to the mission. He didn't feel good about sending adventurers down to do the job, but he offered to pay them real nice if they brought back enough psychic defense for everybody.

There were two ways into the Demon Ruins: a long drop down the waterfall in the Stone Garden, and the frozen doorway in the Giant Conclave. The waterfall was dangerous to traverse but not actively monitored by the monsters. The Conclave door led into the hanging palace of a particularly nasty Demon who wouldn't sell the players what they wanted. The siblings chose the Conclave entrance. Climbing down a giant rope under a waterfall was one thing, climbing up while being pursued by monsters was another entirely. Better to have a secure line of retreat than an easy way in. The Unicorn thanked them for their service, he wished he could pay them better for giving up a piece of their souls but the City would be better for it.

Unknown Armies 2025 Jamuary Jam Results

Ken Currie

A couple months ago Unknown Armies fan server user Cliomancer ran another Unknown Armies jam. It had similar rules to previous jams, with a list of prompts and a short wordcount limit.

Instant Loss - Music

 

Music post for Instant Loss, the Unknown Armies 3e shotgun scenario about professional wrestlers getting revenge on the house shooter at their z list joshi promotion.

 

Listen to the actual play here.

 

His Majesty The Worm - Session 5

Three adventurers from the Elite Underman Excavation Guild met their contact in a conference room above the Cult of Strength's physical therapy clinic in Shrine of Teeth.

• Aethelbald the Green, Orc Rogue
• Aten Hookmantled, Dwarven Beastmaster
• Sweetheart, Aten's Dungeon Worm
• Breadrick Bravebelly, Halfling Rogue

Their contact was a bald man with a perfectly regular grid of scars across his body, which he embellished with fresh cuts across the back of his arm as the Guild entered. They instantly recognized him as Dacian of the Tower, a high ranking hiero at the Temple of Swords, and thought they had walked into an ambush. Gary the Mage had caused some controversy by exposing the Church's swords-for-slaves scheme, and his anti-Temple stance had previously won him threats of hired assassination.
 

But it all worked out, because Dacian appreciated the Guild's dedication to exposing corrupt elements of the Temple. He had it on good authority that several members of the organization were victims of psychic dream sending from an unknown entity in the undercity, subtly altering their behavior in disturbing ways. The source of the emissions was a mysterious soapstone statue in the Thingstead of the Giant Conclave. If the Guild destroyed the mysterious statue, he'd pay them handsomely. The Guild decided that, as long as they were down in the dungeon, they would help Aten find another beast for his menagerie. Whatever monster they found could live at Aethelbald's ranch along with the Unicorn from the Stone Garden. There were two entrances to the Giant Conclave, one through the Fire Giant Forge and one from the cellar under Hangman's Hill.

 

Unknown Armies Playtest - The Lone and Level Sands

Elihu Vedder

1799. Following an outbreak of bubonic plague at Jaffa and a failed siege of Acre, French forces retreated from the Holy Land, endlessly harassed by Mamluks as they marched through the desert on their way back to Egypt.

Four frogs woke up in the shade of a huge pair of legs, all that remained of an ancient statue swallowed by the desert. 

• Dr D'Hubert, Savant
• Eugen, Grognard from Tolosa
• Jacques, Grognard from Bordeaux
• Louis, Grognard from Paris

They were alive and in pain from the pustules on their lymph nodes. They felt dry and desiccated and they were surrounded by blue-tinted corpses. The Armee D'Orient was nowhere in sight, tracks long erased by blowing sand. The Doctor realized that they all had the bubonic plague and had just survived an opium overdose. The Little Corporal had tried to euthanize them.

OSE Encounter Activities Test Drive: Fumigation of the Escheated Wizard Tower

After the death of the Monarch, the assets of his supporters were seized and redistributed to benefit the victims of his tyranny. The tower of the wizard Cloudkill, one of the Old King’s archmages from the College of Wands, was given to a pair of mutants who fought alongside the rebels. The retired partisans hired mercenaries to clear the “squatters” out of their dream home. The magical monsters are more than the hired guns can handle.

OSE Encounter Activities Test Drive: Shadowdance of the Lizard Corsairs

Walter Martishius

Lizard pirates sail to a secluded cove and hatch a sinister plan at an ancient temple. The local wildlife doesn’t cooperate.

Creature Cache Test Drive: Honey Trap of the Planeswalking Soulmaster

The Hanged King cynically founded numerous enclosed orders of nuns, drawn from the widows and orphans created by his endless wars, whose sole purpose in life was to be sacrificed to him and increase his magic power. The Elixir of Life religion was created as a ploy by the Tower of Pain, one of the newly founded Commonwealth’s largest religious corporations, as a ploy to absorb these directionless death cultists who no longer had anything to die for after the King was killed. It was impossible to talk that many religious fanatics into moving on with their lives, the best the Tower could do was offer them a more prosocial cause to die for.

Creature Compendium Test Drive: Volcanic Vent of the Pukwudgie Potentate

Our story takes us north of the Thousand Lakes, to the great ice sheet which covers the Cursed Mountains. These enormous spires lie frozen under vast glaciers, summits periodically exposed by magical fire events, deliberate excavation, or natural geologic activity. The melted peaks draw explorers to the extraordinarily hostile frozen wasteland in search of the ancient treasures concealed therein. As magic and science advance, so to do adventurers into the frozen north, drawing ever closer to the heart of the ice.

His Majesty The Worm - Session 4

Four adventurers hiked up Hangman's Hill for the Elite Underman Excavation Company's next adventure.

• Breadrick Bravebelly, Halfling Rogue
• Constantina Leadcutter, Halfling Duelist
  
• Gyrfalcon "Gary the Mage" Hakkapeliitta, Human Mage
• Hyacinth "Cindy" Hakkapeliitta, Human Brewer
  

Their destination was the Kick at the Clouds, a historic tavern where condemned prisoners once received their last drink before going to the gallows. The Troll Witte Boiledsyrup had a job for him. The Red Claw gang, a Guild of Orcs, were squatting in his basement. Not only did they refuse to leave, they drank wine from his cellar without paying. They must have found treasure or an entrance to the undercity down there, because they had enough money to pay prostitutes and food vendors who periodically visited them. If the Undermen got rid of them they could keep any treasure they found in the basement, aside for the booze which belonged to Witte.

Gary negotiated an increased fee for the job and the Guild took a look at Witte's map of the cellar. As long as they were down there, the group decided to pursue Cindy's personal quest and search for alchemical reagents to enhance her lackluster attempts at homebrewing.

Monster Overhaul Test Drive: Silent Swamp of the Stoneskin Jaeger

 

The Chocolate Coast at the edge of the Lost World. So called because of the vast quantities of chocolate which flow from Iron Cup’s inland plantations out to the trade fort at Isle of Sweat, and from there to the rest of the world. Further inland: Forest fens of giant cycads and ferns. Flooded pampas infested with enormous dinosaurs. Canyons filled with monstrous insects. Volcanoes that periodically disgorge great lava flows. Further still, the Gunpowder Empires of the Giff.

This is the context in which we place the Silent Ranch, a patch of swamp on a minor tributary of the River Sweat. Surrounded by prehistoric forests where hadrosaurs splash and giant sloths graze on primitive trees. Far away from sneering nobles and idiot wizards and trading companies and ravenous greed and murderous armies, for now. Nested atop a hideous secret that, if she’d known about it, the owner would have thought twice before locating her ranch there

His Majesty The Worm - Session 3

 

Matul Bentgirder net the Elite Undermen Excavation Company by the hospital outside town.

• Aethelbald, Earthblood Orc Rogue
• Candella Panthercoppered, Dwarf Fighter
• Hyacinth "Cindy" Hakkapeliitta, Human Brewer
• Mikado Open-The-Belly, Gnome Sniper 

Rather than offer a job for pay, the undermobster offered them a bag of freebies to put the hurt on the Fire Giants as payback for kidnapping his distant relation. 

• Fungus Purgit, for dissolving melted stone
  
• Oil of the Frost Wraith, for adding ice damage to weapons
• Potion of Flash Sweat, for immunity to fire damage
  
• Shrink Bomb, for negating the size advantage of a roomful of monsters

There were effectively two ways into the Forge. Go back down the stairs under the Temple of Swords and directly confront the Giants, or follow the underground river south into the Stone Garden and use the Purgit to dissolve the melted stone blocking the passage. The Guild took the long way around, excited to explore a new area. They also decided to take on Aethelbald's personal quest to retrieve a magnificent horse from the dungeon.

 

Unknown Armies Playtest - The Rose and the Nightingale

Lecomte du Nouy

 

1798. General Napoleon Bonaparte led the Armée d'Orient into Egypt against the Mamluks, a military aristocracy of former Ottoman slave-soldiers. In the Nile Delta, the French stormed the castle of a Mamluk Bey. Artillery smashed holes in the walls. Fusiliers stormed the battlements. The defenders surrendered or fled. The Bey and his wife stepped into his secret escape tunnel. The castle was hit by French artillery and the happy couple were immediately killed by a piece of falling masonry, leaving five Eunuchs in command of the harem and his palace.

• Agha the Gardener 
• Baybar the Physician
• Faisal the Librarian
• Hassan the Guard
• Malik the Bath Attendant
  

They debated what to do about the impending French assault on the harem. They were split between their desires to escape, protect the Bey's concubines,  loot the place, or do some combination of the three. The palace was surrounded and even if they could get out, they'd be penniless, friendless and without protection in a land being invaded by foreigners. They needed a plan.

 

His Majesty The Worm - Session 2

 

Fresh off their victory over the Vampire Voivode, three adventurers stripped down for a soak at the thermae, and to meet their next client.

• Breadrick Bravebelly, Halfling Rogue
• Gyrfalcon "Gary the Mage" Hakkapeliitta, Human Mage
• Candella Panthercoppered, Dwarf Fighter

The Dwarf mobster Matul Bentgirder lounged nude in a private bath with a handful of huskarls, sturdy bodyguards who didn't need weapons or armor to deal lethal damage. He was happy to see the Undermen Breadrick and Candella, and to meet the human Gyrfalcon. He had a job for them, a rescue mission in the Fire Giants' forge beneath the Crypt of the Vampire Voivode. It was a favor to a relative, to rescue the human Leupold Hakkapeliitta from Giant captivity. For this he'd pay out 150 gold pieces, provided the prisoner was brought back alive.

 

The Fire Giants were a hot topic in the adventuring community. Weapons that looked suspiciously like Fire Giant forgework were regularly seen in the hands of brute squads from the Temple of Swords, leading to rumors of forbidden commerce with the Giant slavers.

 

The Guild debated whose personal quest to pursue alongside the rescue mission. They decided to get a piece of fine art for Candella's tomb, since the Fire Giant Forge would probably be full of fine metalwork and jewelry. There was the little problem of the Vampire Voivode, his wives, his servants and his pets, all of whom were pissed off at the Guild for their conduct on the previous delve. But it was nothing they couldn't handle, provided they moved fast. All they had to do was move fast to the drain in the floor of the mulch room, which led down to an underground river that fed the Fire Giant Forge.

 

His Majesty The Worm - Session 1

 

Four adventurers stood in the entry hall of the Crypt of the Vampire Voivode.

• Breadrick Bravebelly, Halfling Rogue
• Chelicera, Cave Elf Bard
• Gyrfalcon "Gary the Mage" Hakkapeliitta, Human Mage
• Candella Panthercoppered, Dwarf Fighter

Their mission, given to them by a Gnome crimelord in the Hangman's Quarter outside of town: Enter the Crypt and pluck an Avern, a special moonlight flower used in Elven monomachy. Breadrick had personal reasons to descend into the vampiric tomb, which the rest of the Elite Undermen Excavation Company agreed to help him with: he needed to find a special bottle of wine as a courtship gift.

All that remained was to choose a direction to explore first.

Creature Compendium Test Drive: Widow's Grove

A trio of Elf Druids has broken away from the See of Trees and built a hideout in a mesa overlooking Hogman's Plain. To the sorceresses of Widow's Grove, the scalphunters and sandbusters and shipping magnates and self righteous Clerics sent by industrialized civilization are nothing more than prey animals to be devoured.

Creature Compendium Test Drive: The Marsh on Mogart's Creek

moxica

 

The River Hog is the fastest and safest way to traverse Hogman's Plain, right up until you hit a snag. Adventurers, colonists and scalphunters aren't the only creatures drawn to the cool flowing water, which protects travelers against the searing sun and swarming undead alike.

John Tynes Ain't Dead Contest Results

Komoda

The John Tynes Isn't Dead Contest just wrapped. Submitters had a couple months to write submissions based on entries to the Unnatural Phenomena page, an Unknown Armies fansite dating back to the early 2000s (and mirroring content from other, now defunct fan pages).

 

The jam was initiated after Atlas Games allowed the Statosphere community content program for Unknown Armies 3e to die by neglect, ignoring DrivethruRPG's communications on the subject and subsequent fan communications asking about the status of the program. UA3 was basically abandoned anyway, but the disappearance of Statosphere through bureaucratic incompetence added insult to injury.